The Amityville Asylum (2013) Reviews

• The setting of this movie is a mental institution called "High Hopes". But don't get yours up.

  Boloxxxi2013-08-22

  Low-budget, claustrophobic (shot indoors and confined spaces), chat-fest about a young woman who gets a cleaning job at a mental institution where she contends with intimidating and creepy staff (one guy, actually), seeing people that aren't there, and "ward X" for the criminally insane who talk to her while she's down there cleaning the hallway. The premise of this would-be or can't-be horror movie is that the asylum is built on the same spot as the famous Amityville house of the 70's (ergo the title of the movie) and before that, earlier on in the 18th century, where witchcraft practicing native-Americans were murdered by Christians. I did not have high hopes (ha, ha) going into this thing, but it struck me in the early go that the acting was actually quite good and the performers serious and convincing. So that kind of hooked me, got my hopes up a bit (ha, ha, again). About mid-way, after seeing a poorly executed mirror scene (a tradition in many horror movies) that was supposed to spook me, my hopes suddenly plummeted. I had found the weakness of this movie: The scenes that were supposed to scare you, horrify you, and gross you out (what little there was) were very amateurish and lame (weak). Reader, you're better off if you grab a chair, go to a window of your house and look out. I assure you that whatever you see will be as interesting as this movie. So why bother? Love, Boloxxxi.

• How not to make a film

  Quotius2013-09-28

  B Movies seem to be making a big come back this year and this one fits right in there with other legends of the genre ticking every box to ensure that it'll mark low and leave you wondering why you bothered. Woeful script? Score. Actually the script wasn't so bad although more than a little clichéd. If only the delivery wasn't so abysmal. Acting? Hackneyed characters with poor back-stories. Brought to "life" through the art of people pretending to be someone they're not. Or maybe they were good characters, hackneyed in to existence through bad acting. Scares? You'd think that borrowing the Amityville legend would lend some worthwhile thrills, but you'd be wrong. The best thing I can say about this movie is that it was only 86 minutes long. Which was plenty.

• The scariest thing about this is that I attempted to watch it

  damoeel2013-08-27

  As I am currently on a trek trying to find some decent horror/thrillers I have been scouring the web high and low for movies that fit into that genre and after a quick read of the synopsis of this I thought I would give it a try. I actually lasted 47 minutes, after wanting to turn it off after 8 minutes then again at the 14, 23 and 31 minute marks I could not harm my television or my eyes anymore as to be brutally honest this is just plain bad. I have shown a lot of patience in my quest to find some decent horror movies but I could not bring myself to watch anymore as the acting was atrocious although I did learn more about cleaning products than what the actual movie was supposed to be about so I guess that is a plus. So my recommendation?? don't even consider watching this as the 1/10 I gave it is more than I wanted to give it.

• Great concept idea, boring movie...

  paul_haakonsen2013-08-23

  This movie has a very alluring title, and it was what drew me in. However, don't be fall for this fools' gold trick, because you will be sorely disappointed. "The Amityville Asylum" cashes in on the older and more successful movies with its title. And the story does seem to have some meat on its bones, I mean, a mental institute built upon the grounds where the old Amityville house once stood. But whatever prospects the story did have, it failed miserably. This story dragged on in excruciatingly long scenes that took forever to get nowhere. And as for this being a horror movie, well you need to look long and far for the scares and any real horror moments. As such, then "The Amityville Asylum" is a real killer to sit through to the end. The story in the movie is about Lisa (played by Sophia Del Pizzo) who starts a new job as a night shift cleaner in a mental asylum. Without knowing of the prior history, things happen at the asylum and Lisa starts to question her own sanity. When she finds out about the tragic past of the land upon where the asylum has been built Lisa may very well wish she never took the job. The entire storyline fell to the ground given the soul-crushing slow pace the movie trotted along in, plus the story seemed a little bit pointless. There weren't any elements or things to lure in the audience and keep then riveted to their seats. Actually, the two things that worked in favor of the movie was the acting, because people really did convincing jobs with their given roles and characters - both sane and insane. And also the camera-work was quite good. "The Amityville Asylum" gets a mere 3 out of 10 stars rating from me, given the acting and camera-work, but these were hardly enough to salvage the movie and make it the least bit interesting.

• if you want to laugh watch this film

  emmaward0072014-06-26

  Looked really good, and scary from the cover, and description, but it was absolutely the worst movie i have ever seen in my life ! But it made me laugh, with the terrible acting, bad directing, and script was so bad... no more words can describe how bad this was, now i will burn it, and dance all over the ashes of this DVD... totally ripped off, i want my cash back, and the 2 hours i wasted of my life watching this terrible film, i wish that i had just watched Barney, or mickey mouse. I would rather someone set fire to me, and burn my eyeballs off than for me to have to sit and watch it again. As for the sound track, it was like a 2 year old in a school class room.