Legion of the Dead (2005) Reviews

• How Many Mummies Do A Legion Make?

  arcadesrofocale2006-07-06

  I had high hopes for this because: 1) It was called LEGION OF THE DEAD and had box art of some ancient Egyptian tomb king and a whole army of undead troopers. 2) It had Bruce Boxleitner in. 3) Putting together 1 + 2, and armed with the knowledge that Boxleitner plays the sheriff, it implies some sort of gigantic apocalyptic battle with hordes of mummies will occur, sort of like the battles in Lord of the Rings or even Army of Darkness. Now without giving any spoiler information away: The actual plot of the movie is nothing like the assumptions you are lead to be believe from facts 1 and 2 above and the film was therefore a severe disappointment for me. Had they re-named it, it might have been less of a let down. However, the acting IS poor, the plot is VERY dubious (in terms of the genre; I know mummies walking around is inherently dubious, but there are ways of doing it right and this film doesn't due to inconsistencies). That being said the comedic gore and the amount of breasts are about right.

  More

• Legion of the Lousy

  ghoulieguru2006-02-05

  With the exception of the newly resurrected Full Moon movies, the Asylum distributes and produces the absolute worst horror movies on the video store shelves. The Asylum's legacy of lousiness continues with their Mummy epic, Legion of the Dead. This movie is basically like Queen of the Damned with mummies instead of vampires and with Bruce Boxleitner and the kid from Gremlins instead of Aaliyah. This tepid tale begins when a couple of dirt bikers stumble on an ancient Egyptian burial tomb somewhere in the mountains of Los Angeles. You heard me right, this ancient Egyptian burial chamber is in the foothills of Los Angeles. Somehow those wacky Egyptians managed to make it all the way to California with a bunch of their loot and sarcophagus with a Queen Mummy in it. The Gremlins kid (can't remember his name) is an archaeologist who is summoned to the site after the two dirt bikers tell the cops about what they found. The Gremlins guy leads a team on an expedition into the burial chamber. There's ten minutes of Indiana Jones shenanigans as our intrepid explorers make their way through into the tomb. Poisoned arrows, cryptic warnings written in hieroglyphs and trap doors abound. They make it through a winding maze of styrofoam cave walls and find a sarcophagus with an ancient Queen Mummy in it. Of course, they awaken this mummy from her slumber and it turns into an episode of Scooby Doo. The Queen Mummy reanimates a bunch of her mummy pals and they make short work of our explorers. As far as the story goes, it doesn't get any more cookie cutter than this. It's shot on someone's camcorder, just like all the other offerings from the Asylum. The acting is cardboard. Overall, it's just a complete waste of time. My hope is that all lovers of horror movies will stop renting and buying these cheap, irritating movies from the Asylum. Maybe if they realize that they can't make a profit churning out these foul flicks, they will stop making them. I sure hope so.

  More

• Only the Nudity of Claudia Lynx Is Worthwhile

  claudio_carvalho2007-10-21

  When an ancient Egyptian tomb is found in a North American park, a group of scientists and students of Egyptology arrive to the site to study the inscriptions. Meanwhile, the four thousand years old evil high-priestess Aneh-Tet (Claudia Lyns) awakes and seeks six offerings to revive her legion of mummies. Then she needs the blood of a virgin to bring her father back to life, become immortal and rule the world. I bought this DVD based on the name of Bruce Boxleitner and the wonderful art of the cover of the DVD. However, the story is very disappointing, and I particularly liked two scenes: the nudity of the gorgeous and sexy Claudia Lyns, and the funny line of Sheriff Jones, when he says to his skeptical assistant: "- Just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean it can fly." My vote is two. Title (Brazil): Not Available

  More

• A Horrible Kitsch

  omaldy_subs2006-07-20

  A real shame of a movie. Spiritless and full of clichés. What really got me angry was the inconsistency of the soldiers' ability to fight. They acted like powerless zombies when they fought the good guys, but pulled the backbone of some victims in one firm jerk! I mean, c'mon! It's the kind of movie you cannot watch even for laughs. Well, I did. And that only because I kept waiting for something to happen. It was so lame I could throw up. Even if you are a horror movies fan - trust me, this is an outrageous kitsch. It's the type of production that one does for money only, not because one has a real story or a genuinely artistic view to a story. It looks like five-year old kids playing in the backyard - although this remark may be offensive to the intellect of any five-year-old, or two-year-old for that matter! Omaldy.

  More

• Intellectually Bankrupt Fraud

  crazy_tejano2006-02-11

  I know these movies are supposed to be stupid--but they must always provide marginal entertainment. Unfortunately, this movie is worse than just its formula plot, commodity script, laughably sad production values and stupefying nature (brain cells will be lost). It is a FRAUD. You CANNOT give Bruce Boxleitner and Gremlins-boy billing on the box as the featured actors, and have both of those characters die, complete with perhaps 20 minutes of worthless screen time for both combined. I do not give one Piece of Cr*p about the no-name actresses who become the heroes of the mentally challenged story. The marketers behind this film, and any knowingly involved in this scam should be ashamed--and they owe me money!

  More