Fateful Findings (2013) Reviews

• No more books!

  scrappybilly2014-01-31

  Fateful Findings is a new film directed by the up-and-coming and relatively unknown Neil Breen. It is a political thriller of sorts with paranormal and cosmic undertones including, but not limited to mushrooms that turn into magical crystals, spiritual beings and a car accident that turns someone who already had special abilities into some sort of super genius who now has incredible hacking abilities, is a scientist and well-regarded novelist. This movie is being touted as a new The Room, a movie so bad that its badness transcends everything that we know about bad movies and becomes sort of brilliant. Take, for instance, a series of scenes in which the main character, also played by Neil Breen, appears to transport himself into a magical crystal, and the set inside of the crystal is clearly just a basement lined with trash bags to give the illusion of a shiny, black stone. Or the awkward sex scenes, or the insistence that he definitely show off his ass for some required auteur-related nudity. I'm a lover of bad movies. I think that bad movies can be equally entertaining as a great movie. The only difference is that what is so enjoyable about a bad movie is unplanned and completely unintentional. They work as the best kind of comedy, being totally devoid of self- awareness. A certain amount of schadenfreude is involved when you get so much pleasure out of these movies, because you're always aware that the director and his cast and crew set out to make something legitimately great and entertaining, but failed miserably along the way. We laugh at the movie screen not because of some wonderfully witty banter, but because each reaction shot seems to be filmed on a different day with a different lighting set-up and no consideration for the audio matching the rest of the scene. If you, too, are a lover of bad movies and cinematic failures, Fateful Findings will be perfect for you. It was a sincere effort to say something meaningful, obscured through bad writing, terrible performances and direction that never really found any sort of groove. The opening shot of the movie is pretty damn masterful and builds tension and you're thinking that you might be watching a movie from a skilled craftsman, but immediately after that, the movie looks like an after school special from the 1980's, and then the cinematography only gets worse from there. It's like the quality declines and then does a reverse plateau somewhere near the bottom and flatlines from there until the movie is over. Fateful Findings is good, very good, but not great. It won't rank as highly as The Room, Birdemic or Troll 2 in years to follow. It just doesn't have the personal auteuristic passion of a romance that had gone sour, obviously inspired by a real breakup. It doesn't have the spectacular set-pieces involving birds that crap acid and explode when they hit buildings. And no one pisses on hospitality. "No more books!" is going to be the oft-quoted line from this movie, when our main character chucks a book he wrote at one of his five laptops that he utilizes for hacking "the most secret government and corporate secrets" despite never being on. He mostly just sits at a black screen and clacks away and nods, letting us know his efforts are successful. Through a series of events including a pretty realistic looking car accident, our main character meets up with his childhood love, now working in the hospital he visits during his recovery. He mentions to her that he knew he was in love with her when they were 8 years old, which means I guess that they're the same age, even though he's gotta be at around 60 and she at least half that age. Because this movie was written and directed by the star, every woman in the movie seems to have a huge boner for him, everyone from his drug-addicted girlfriend to his former childhood love to the teenage neighbor next door. I'm unable to write a straightforward review for this movie because it doesn't follow any sort of traditional narrative. I mean, it has a beginning, it has a middle, it has a climax and some sort of resolution at the end there, but the plot itself doesn't make a whole lot of sense. There is magic and gems and floating vapors of ghosts and mysterious men with strange abilities, leading to a massive exposé on corruption, but how all of those things actually fit together is anyone's guess. It could be argued that Neil Breen is employing some Lynchian, dreamlike logic to his movies and has created a low-budget surrealist masterpiece— the black gem of this movie is like the blue box from Mulholland Drive. If that's the way you want to read into it, awesome. If you have an interest in cult movies, watch Fateful Findings as soon as you can at your local grindhouse or when it inevitably becomes available on home video.

• Better Than Sex

  damanibailey2017-06-11

  Neil Breen is at it again with his profound insight into the corruption of the government and the plight of mankind. Through his cinematic masterpiece, we all learn what our "leaders" have been hiding from us this entire time. Move out of the way Hitchcock, sit down Nolan, take a step back Kubrick, and Scorcese; shut the f*** up! It's time for the new god of film to rise to the rank of best filmmaker ever. All of the actors, while talented in their own right, owe a great deal to Breen as he has saved them from the casting couch to give them work here. Nearly all of the actors make sure that they take their sweet time to say their lines to squeeze out every last juice of emotion out of their character. You won't see people in real life emote like this, that's for sure! I literally had to take the speed of the movie to 1.25 to have it sound like regular people were talking. The way that the movie portrays relationships is true and genuine, and will surely make you question you talk to your loved ones. Take for instance the main character Dylan, and his best friend Jim. In one scene, Dylan believes that Jim has taken his own life. While carrying his lifeless body, with Jim's blood all over his face, he says to him, word-for-word. "How could you have done this, how could you have committed suicide. I can't help you out of this one Jim". Amazing. While any other person would be distraught, Breen has to be the center of strength for everyone else and treats the situation as if he lost his lawnmower. Simply awe-inspiring. And let's not forget the way that the actors show you their conviction and emotion through slowly knocking over the several laptops that Breen's character owns, or spilling liquid on each other's chest to expose their breasts. You will not find a caliber of acting ability outside of this masterpiece besides the Hub itself. Breen has an incredible sense of pacing and attention to detail, as the director's vision envelops you in this world of wonder. If nothing else, you will always see the feet of every single character, which is a new, avant-garde way of shooting a scene never before seen and most certainly not a foot fetish. While viewing this with an associate film viewer of mine, we noticed that the story is told in a cyclical sort of way. There is no progression in the traditional sense, but instead, events that repeat themselves over and over again. Breen's character has a vision, he has a sexual encounter with a female co-star, he goes to one of his two therapists, he continues his fight against the Illuminati, a character dies for no real reason, rinse and repeat. It is a true parallel to how life repeats itself from the day we are born to the day we leave this earth. As I was viewing this with my cohort, I was emotionally overwhelmed, as it resonated with me like nothing or no one ever has before. I could not contain myself and purged fluids from my body out of pure ecstasy. Neil has no humility whatsoever, and why should he? He is a god among us feeble mortals. Excellence like this has never been achieved before. Time and time again, he asserts his superiority throughout his craft. The sex god is not afraid to show himself in his glory and the raw passion he has for the female form. Even if he has just been put into a coma, and literally bleeding all over his body, he is coming for that booty. And nothing can be done; no one can resist. Literally, every female character in the movie is after his Mandingo manhood, whether they are of legal age or not. Even his therapist gets jealous when he suspects he has been two-timing him. In the final 10 minutes of this movie, I was screaming as my brain could not handle the truth that Breen was unleashing unto me. Breen's character, (who all of a sudden is an expert hacker) hacked into the databases of not just the United States government, but every single government of the world, and collected crucial information. What the information was, we do not know, and it was never actually distributed to the public, but Breen's word was enough, as the government officials and presidents of corporations confessed to their sins gladly and committed suicide in front of an applauding audience. I have already said too much; please go and watch this piece of history that every man, woman, and child should behold as their new guide to life. All authors of the review with the letter N or B in their name are actually Neil Breen.

• Fateful Findings - Movie Review

  MattBrady0992016-05-09

  Dylan: "I can't believe you committed suicide. I cannot believe you committed suicide. How could you have done this? How could you have committed suicide?" Yes, that's the dialogue in "Fateful Findings" and it truly is something special. Just like "The Room", this is one of those films you have to see to believe. It truly is the best mistake that has ever happened to cinema. But it would be so easy for me to say this movie is bad, but that would just be too boring and predicable. Yes, I know this movie is not good at all... it's freaking amazing. A masterpiece, is what I call it. I only chuckled a few times while watching "The Room" and "Birdemic", but watching this almost had me in tears. I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard at a movie that's suppose to be taken seriously or I think it was. There was never a moment in this movie that I thought dragged. Every scene in this movie was like poetry, it rhymes. This was a magical experience that will never be topped by any movie. The editing and the audio is what really makes this movie. Confusing cuts that jumps to the next scene unexpectedly and the awkward moments where you clearly see the actors silently waiting for someone to shout "cut", to end the scene. I mean, anyone can edit and improve the audio for this movie, but then again, it's what makes this movie a hidden charm. Don't get me started on the acting in this movie, as it was truly Oscar worthy. This is the kind of acting you'll see on a porno but with more story and depth. Tommy Wiseau is like Brando compared to Neil Breen acting, but you see, that's the hidden genius of Neil Breen, as he's comedic timing was better than Wiseau and just the acting alone is so convincing. Watch this clip and tell you don't feel the pain in his eyes & voice. www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKRDVbTKi_I Overall: "Fateful Findings" is a masterpiece. It's spiritual, engaging, emotional, and just a true poem of storytelling. If you haven't seen this yet, please do, you won't be disappointed.

• Neil Breen is pretty much an older, less sexy Tommy Wiseau

  lesmoughjames2017-11-19

  If you review this as a film- it's acting, it's dialogue, it's plot and it's cinematography- Neil Breen's movies resemble Wiseau's 'The Room'. Everything is so amateur and leaves the viewer questioning the director's sanity due to how he could see this as a complete movie. Neil fully resembles Tommy; both are under the illusion that their movies are masterpieces due to the fame garnered when in reality they're just well known due to their odd existence. Neil is also the main character of his films, in this case, Fateful Findings, further supporting the argument that he's just gone a little bit crazy because of his midlife crisis . If you expect a comprehensible movie, you're looking in the wrong place. If, however, you're looking for something to laugh at with a few friends, this is a great movie to watch. Honestly, I enjoyed it; Fateful Findings is so unaware of what it truly is, making it a thoroughly hilarious experience. Now, I am being a little vague with what this movie is about and that's because it feels like a soap opera- there really isn't a plot, just 'social' interaction. So many things happen at the same time- Neil's character Dylan is hacking the government, then a friend of his is murdered. he also spills his coffee in one of the most exaggerated, immersion breaking, attempts to act I have ever seen. If you want a film for cheap gags- 10/10 If you want a real film- 2/10

• Anime at it's finest

  Cinema_Oddity2018-09-12

  Fateful findings provides some truly revolutionary techniques in terms of animation and voice acting. I honestly thought this was live-action at first! It's director, Adum, is a pure genius. possibly my favorite video game since shrek on the gamecube. Ora Pro Nobis Lucifer.