College (2008) Reviews

• Super BAD.

  creditdauphine2008-08-28

  Well, there's bad movies and then there's BAD movies. I didn't expect this one to be high art, but I didn't expect it to be this bad. "COLLEGE" is a low budget, uninspired, horribly written waste of time. The most amusing part of the movie was watching the fat kid try to mimic all of Chris Farley's mannerisms as an acting style. Pathetic. I've seen a LOT of "teen comedies" and "raunchy comedies" and enjoyed them. But "COLLEGE" is an embarrassment to those types of films. To be honest, it was just...boring. The three main characters spent most of the movie covered in urine, vomit, and feces. And THAT, dude, is the joke. For the ENTIRE movie. "Whoops, we've got pee thrown on us. Whoops, we were thrown up on. Whoops, now we're covered in pig crap." I can't remember the last time I was willing to just walk out in the middle of a movie at a theater. But, had I paid to see it and not gotten a free pass, I would have left and asked the manager if I could see something else. I've got no personal stake in this, and it obviously won't affect me if people see or don't see this film. But, I'm telling you, you'll kick yourself for paying money to see this movie.

• Miserable

  russell-grimm2008-08-31

  Let me begin by saying this. I am taking time out of my day to sit here and write about how awful this movie is. Rarely do I ever write a review on here. I only do so if I really like a movie, or can't stand a movie so bad that I think others should be warned about going to pay to see it. All told, I've written probably four reviews. This is hands down the worst movie I've seen in the last five years. Sadly, I thought the previews made it look alright. Seeing as how I'm 23 and recently graduated from college, I also thought that this movie could bring back some nostalgia from my recently deceased college years. Me and three ex-fraternity brothers from school went to catch this movie with hopes that it would at least provide us some decent laughs before going out. We were dead wrong. Not only is this a blatant rip off of Superbad, Accepted, The Girl Next Door etc., it also is host to three of the most annoying main characters in the history of film. The jokes suck, the situations are beyond dumb, and the portrait it paints of college is completely wrong. In order to hang out with frat guys you have to take shots of tequilla from a dude's a$$ crack? Really? Don't remember seeing that in my college days. Annoying fat kids hooking up with hot blondes? Yeah, no, don't recall that either. College kids even caring that high schoolers were at their parties? Not the case. Where I went to school they were introduced and greeted with a beer. No one f**king cared if they were there. I could go on forever, but the bottom line is save your time and money. Go rewatch Superbad or Dazed and Confused or something. Or better yet, save your 10 bucks, get a 12 pack of shi**y beer, get drunk, and let the night unfold. There's a more realistic college experience for you.

• Seems like the Spammers are out in droves

  jscheibel2008-08-26

  I have also caught a screening of this movie....Seriously, the comments about this movie look so set up and not authentic. Each commenter leaving a positive review says almost the exact same thing in the exact same amount of words. They re-hash the same stuff until they hit the minimum amount of lines for a comment. Plus, look at the demographic that has given the highest scores for votes....middle aged and elderly women. Also, the group that has the best chance of enjoying this film (18-29 yr old males) have one of the poorest ratings. If they are this desperate to get a good word out about this movie and are failing at doing so, I'd avoid this trash heap.

• A Cliché-Ridden, Cruelty-Filled Nightmare of a Film

  projectmayhem11382008-08-31

  The first thing I must say about College is that since the beginning, its IMDb rating has been flawed due to a number of studio-funded plugs claiming it to be a genius comedy (which of course it isn't). These false reviews are easily recognized by both the fact that they are positive and their complete lack of any detail about the film. In fact, if you replace the various movie titles with other movie titles in these reviews, it still works. Not a great review. Then, further corrupting the rating came a series of one-star reviews from people who had not seen the film and were merely infuriated by the studios pitiful interference. I can sympathize with the feeling, but it is nonetheless partially their fault that College will never have a realistic rating. The regulators at IMDb really need to go through and delete these false reviews. However, for those of you who are curious, I saw College last night, and here is my take on the film. From the get-go, you feel like you've seen this before. Drake Bell, who plays Kevin, the nice smart kid in the movie (the characters in College really are just stereotypes *sort of* brought to life), is getting ready for a college visit with his friend Morris, played by Kevin Covais who is semi-famous for being known as Chicken Little on American Idol. Covais is atrocious, but we'll get to him. In comes Carter, as portrayed by Andrew Caldwell, the apparently mandatory overweight obnoxious kid who wants to get laid and constantly talks about doing so. This guy's bound to draw some comparisons to Jonah Hill's character in Superbad, but I assure you that is both groundless and insulting. Hill's character Seth in Superbad was obnoxious, but was in fact being so to cover up his concerns with losing his friend because of his going to a different college. Caldwell is unredeemed. He just goes about throughout the movie running his huge mouth and mocking others, particularly Morris, whom he also abuses physically on a routine basis. This constant cruelty is one of the film's greatest failures, but it also disturbingly gratifying, because quite frankly, Morris's character is unbearable. His voice is whiny and aggravating, and he spends the entire movie complaining. I found myself pleased to watch bad things happening to him, and that made me realize how terrible the filmmakers are at their craft. How can you make a movie about characters that are meant to be sympathetic, but that people instead hate? Even a character like The Silence of the Lambs's Hannibal Lecter has some appealing qualities, but this teenage boy has been portrayed so unpleasantly that I would genuinely rather have him be one of the torture victims in the Hostel series. That's not right! When the three boys get to Fillmore University, the school that they are visiting, they find that the girls want nothing to do with them because they are high school students, and the dorm they have been assigned to stay in is inhabited by a heavyset student who is engaged in a rousing bout of self abuse (if you don't know what that means, just think of something crude that a guy could be doing in a room by himself). Thus, our single-minded "friends" decide to go stay at a frat house of which Crater's cousin is a legacy. Naturally, the frat members treat them poorly throughout the rest of the movie, bringing about retribution and so on, so forth. The major sub-plot involves the fact that Kevin's girlfriend dumps him before the visit for not being enough fun, and thus he wants to prove her wrong. Once at Fillmore, the three boys meet three sorority girls who for some reason find them attractive, and of course don't know that they're high school students. The most shocking thing is the attractive blond girl who is attracted to Carter. Looks aside the kid's a total jerk, and besides, she could do better. In fact, nothing in this movie is remotely realistic. I'm in college, and college is not at all like College. The gross-out humor in this is excessive and unforgivable. Half the time instead of laughing you'll be gagging. This would be a great film to show in a film class to just demonstrate who easy it is to make a pathetic cliché-fest. My favorite line in the movie is when Kendall, played by the adorable Haley Bennett, says to Kevin "you're not like other college guys". This is obviously meant to be dramatic irony, and thereby funny. It's not. Nothing in this movie really is.

• Haven't I seen this film before?

  Whirlwind2012008-08-30

  Oh thats right, I have. Lets see. Animal House, Revenge of the Nerds, Van Wilder, American Pie, Beta House, Accepted... ETC. ETC. ETC. Whats the difference between those movies and "College?" The others managed to come up with more creative titles. Oh, and "Animal House" had John Belushi. Seriously, if you've seen any of the above movies, then you've seen "College." The original ideas in "College" are so few and far between that you'll have to wonder if the creators of "College" actually bothered to write a script, or rather spun a wheel of clichés and inserted them in the appropriate spots. "College" once again tries to tell you what life on a University campus is 'supposed' to be like, and fails pretty horribly. You begin to wonder if the 'College' students in "College" are actually paying attendants of Fieldmont University (F.U! Get it? hah...no.) or they just happen to squat in the decrepit house near the campus. Apparently they don't attend classes, don't even OWN textbooks, and believe a GPA is a "Great Party Area" rated on a 0-4 scale. Long story short, "College," while it claims it has something different than those other "College" films, is NOTHING you haven't seen done much better before. I hope it drowns out in its own filth and causes several film companies to go bankrupt, thus ensuring they'll never spit out cookie cutter crud like this. Drake Bell and Co. deserve MUCH, MUCH better. They do well, but given a better script I would have been more impressed. I'd give it a 1 1/2 just because of their performances, but it won't let me so hey, their loss. PLEASE, avoid it. You'll thank me later. And tell your friends to avoid it. Thats the only way to stop the cancerous spread