Yours, Mine & Ours (2005) Reviews

• It ain't mine, and I'm pretty sure you don't want it to be yours.

  TheMovieMark2005-11-23

  "I'd rather be watching a funeral." That quote, stated by Stephanie after watching Dennis Quaid get hit in the head for about the 18th time, serves as a strong indictment of this most unnecessary of remakes, but sadly it's one of the nicest things one can say about the film. Easily one of the 10 worst movies of the year, Yours, Mine, and Ours should be more aptly titled Suck, Suck, and Suck. Is there still a market for movies that feature little more than a bunch of young kids eating tons of sweets, splattering a house with paint, and hating each other? I figured such uncreative antics had run their course, but perhaps I was wrong. Or perhaps the people involved with this production simply had no better ideas. "Were the writers even trying?" Stephanie asked me as Dennis Quaid got splattered with paint, fell in a pool of goo, and then tripped over a flatulent pig that, of course, eats at the family dinner table. "No, they weren't," I replied as I stared dumbfounded at the screen, shaking my head over the fact that the writers expect us to laugh about kids vomiting and then falling in it. I suppose I should commend the movie for warning the audience right away just how bad a time they can expect to have if they attempt to sit through the full 90 minutes. If the "Nickelodeon Films" moniker fails to send up any red flags, then the fact that Dennis Quaid and Rene Russo (possibly the hottest 51-year-old woman on the planet) meet, rekindle their high school relationship, get engaged, get married, and buy a brand new house all within the first 10 minutes should seal the deal that it's in your best interest to sprint to the exit and ask for your money back. There are two legitimately funny scenes in the movie, one involving Dennis Quaid brushing his tongue. Everything else has been done several times with equally unfunny results. "Oh look, Dennis Quaid's son has accidentally started up a forklift at the store! Oh look, Dennis Quaid just jumped on the forklift and his head is bumping against every box in the store! Oh look, Dennis Quaid's credibility can actually be seen leaking out of the screen!" That's what's considered funny these days? And just when you think things can't get any worse, the writers decide to blindside us with an ending so ridiculously sappy that you'll be wishing you brought your trusty yellow bucket and you'll pray for an end to your dry heaving. I officially hate lighthouses now. I suppose 10-year-old girls might enjoy this, but if you value your time or money then I recommend that you stay away. Far away. This is a movie so the opposite of hilarious that I'm forced to come up with a new word for it - lolarious (pronounced "low-larious"). Feel free to use the word amongst friends. Hopefully its popularity will spread and it will one day be added to the dictionary. At least then I could say one good thing came out of the film. As it stands, Yours, Mine, and Ours ain't mine, I'm pretty sure you don't want it to be yours, and if we made it ours then we'd only end up arguing over who would be the one to get rid of it.

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• Not like the Original

  selarom-yar2006-04-03

  This "re-casting" of the family favorite of Yours, Mine, and Ours can't even shake a stick at the original with Fonda and Ball. Granted while the original was contemporary for the day that it was made the dialog, and the family situations dealing with a large family are either ad voided or watered down to a point of non-existence. Koodos for Quaid for his role of the bewildered father. Quaid tries to make the role work with the weak script that he got, but for what he got he did an outstanding job. The 2005 "re-casting" of the situations was nothing more than politically correct mumbo jumbo that missed the mark of the comedic timing. All of it was turned into a slapstick dribble with obvious setups from the production team. They took a great crafted movie and watered it down to a dribble that only family with young kids will like. Yes, the original is dated, but we can still connect with the themes and the characters while the 2005 VERSION OF YOURS, MINE, AND OURS WILL BE LONG Forgotten WHILE THE ORIGINAL REMAINS FRESH.

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• At least it was short

  christian1232006-04-05

  When Admiral Frank Beardsley returns to his hometown after years of Coast Guard service, he meets his old flame Helen North at a high school reunion. Both recently widowed, the two find the old sparks again immediately and marry on a whim. There's one catch. Frank has eight children and Helen has ten children (many adopted). Someone should tell the writers of Yours, Mine and Ours that chaos does not equal funny. Two parents, eighteen kids, one crazy nanny and one pig all live under the same house, so hilarity is supposed to ensue right? Well, not in this film. All of the laughs are few and far in between and when the movie is over, all you're left with is one big headache. Kids will most likely eat this one up but they deserve better films than this. It's no surprise that this film is a dud since its directed by Raja Gosnell. He is your typical bland director and he doesn't have much imagination. He always puts the lamest jokes and pratfalls into his films like Dennis Quaid falling face first into a bucket of paint. Dennis Quaid plays the uptight father and he pretty much makes a fool of himself here. He seems to be trying so hard to get a laugh from the audience but he fails. I'm surprised he took this role since this is a little out of his usual element but I guess Tim Allen was busy. Rene Russo plays his wife and she was okay but a little bland. After this film and Two for the Money, she needs a new agent because she actually is talented. There were so many kids that it was hard to keep track of them. Most of them were either bland or they played annoying characters. There were a few that showed a little potential for the future but I wouldn't hold my breath. In the end, a weak story, very few laughs, weak acting and bad direction equals a poor film and this movie is better left on the shelf. Rent the original instead. Rating 3/10

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• Poor remake of a good film

  nwledasp2005-11-30

  I was very disappointed with this remake. The original was funny, but this movie was in my opinion, chaotic! I think those kids really needed a trip to the woodshed! In our politically correct system we are made to think that every family is dysfunctional. Most parents would be ashamed of such rowdy children. Why do we put up with such poor family movies? Let's get back to traditional family values. I took my 7 yr old granddaughter to see it and she was appalled by the lack of discipline. Bring back It's a wonderful life and Spensers Mountain. They had real values. Why so many remakes of good films and making them trash? Let's get back to the real America!

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• Not mine!!

  philip-ct2006-03-24

  Both Russo and Quaid have an energy between them, but they cannot redeem this film, with a paltry script and too many characters, so that the supporting cast remain that, and wasted! The film seems to work on the premise that bigger is always better, and the direction seems to go that way too. What could have benefited from some quieter, uncluttered subtlety, becomes an assault on one's senses, patience and believability. This film could have been better had it been downscaled a bit, and had some honest attempt been made to show plausible character development. Although just released (in SA), it has a jaded feel about it. This comedy might well be yours but it's not mine!

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