The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009) Reviews

• Who's eating more poo, the audience or the actors?

  fruktflugan2010-05-27

  So, they're trying to squeeze a few cents more out of the hype around the "Saw"-type movies? Sadly the ones making this movie has no idea on how to keep the audience's interest up, no idea on how to create believable characters or make a decent movie that holds up for more than 15 minutes. It begins rather believable with the two young girls going to a party (if you see them as mentally defective and do not scrutinize their personalities too much) and getting car trouble. That's about what works in this movie... Then there's a series of highly improbable events with completely unbelievable actors and it devolves into a simple type, really bad, SCAT-movie (search the porn shelf for those and you'll see the similarities). * Ooohh, No cell phone reception in Germany!!! Do Americans know that Germany is an industrialized country and their cell phone system is much more advanced and has more coverage than anything in the states? * OOOoooohhh, We cannot fix a flat tire because we have too many cromosomes going rampant. We don't even bother to check if there's something in the trunk of this rental car that can be used in some way! * OOoooohhh, We won't even try to drive the car with the tire flat because then the entire universe will explode. Sure, it'd thrash the rim and everything, but it should hold up for at least a couple of miles when going slow. * Ooooohhhhh, We need to walk for help. Let's NOT follow the road or anything, let's go into the dark scary woods in our high heels and no sense of direction. And let's not check if the cell phone gets some reception back either! The movie keeps going in this fashion and if you do not shut off before the real action begins you are greeted with a couple of unbelievable characters going around on all fours with their mouths connected to each others rectums, eating feces. Thank GOD that I didn't pay to watch this movie. Maybe I should sue the movie company for wasting my time like this. Believe me, it doesn't get any better as the movie continues either. 100% medically accurate too... Well, then it must be good... People vomiting in theatres... Well, that's just because the movie is such UTTER CRAP that you cannot help yourself! :D If you see it, make sure you have the option of fast forwarding through 90% of the movie and just getting to the perverted fecal-eating scenes that the movie's creators probably got a good, decent sized erection by creating!

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• After watching it I wanted to kill myself

  anhedosa2010-05-29

  This movie is trash. It's a sick fetish-fueler for some weird cult to get off to. The plot is non-existent. If you want to know what this movie is about in a nutshell, here are some key plot points - mouth sewn to anuses, swallowing feces, and humans turned into slaves without dignity. People will say it's an original idea, but OF COURSE IT IS. It's never been done before because NO ONE HAS THOUGHT OF SOMETHING AS SICK AS THIS YET. After watching, I felt like I needed counseling, or something to make me forget the entire concept. On top of that, there is pathetic dialogue, acting, and directing. The movie literally ends without anything resolved and you just think "What was the point of this?" There's no greater idea, or hidden metaphors. The movie is about swallowing feces. DO NOT WATCH IT.

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• Why?

  baz1112010-07-10

  The entire point of this film was to shock, but the way it shocks is more by giving you the image with no point and no reasoning. Of course the film never sounded like it was ever going to be remembered for its script but this is beyond bad. We're first introduced to the two American girls, who pretty as they may be seem to lack any form of intelligence or general common sense. They are driving to a night club (as you do) when they take a wrong turn and end up getting a puncture. Now this is where things get bad. So the girls are stranded failing to know how to operate a jack and attach a spare wheel the girls decide to look for help. Cue a three minute pointless piece of film making where a randy German man gives his thoughts about the girls in German. Laughable honestly. So the man drives off and the girls decide the best thing to do is to go and look for help.. By walking through the woods and coming across a house in the middle of nowhere with a man that answers the door with the most evil face in the world who's first question is are you alone? Welcoming. See the film goes on with its rather pointless set ups like these which just make you think who would do that? I mean there is one moment in the film that really grabbed my attention, the girls are tied to the patient beds and the doctor goes out to bury the truck driver in the garden. He then goes out and gets the Japanese man from somewhere. The doctor then tells them all his dastardly plan then goes off. Later he comes back to start the procedure by injecting them to put them to sleep. Now only at this moment does the one girl decide she can undo the one wrist with her teeth and get out. I understand you have to make the film but bloody hell thats just ridiculous, I mean he'd buried a man and found a new man before the girls even tried to escape? They could have boarded a flight back to the US or even tried to find that night club if they'd have just stopped crying for however long they had been. So we come to the birth of the centipede and things go from bad to worse I'm afraid. See the purpose of this film is just to make you feel sick. There are no scares, no moments of suspense and really there is just no point. Worst film ever!

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• 100% medically inaccurate

  hupke892010-05-22

  Starting from a good idea, the director/writer totally screws it up, in my humble opinion. I started watching this because of the '100% medically accurate'-marketing, as I'm a student in medicine. It was far from accurate or realistic.. Not medically, not in any way. I'm only a student and still see some big mistakes. Obviously they hadn't even a nurse on the set. -The odds that two random persons are compatible to each other are quite low (that's one of the problems with organ-transplant). How lucky is he that the two girls match! And since the third guy isn't, he just go grab a random Japanese guy out of his backyard, who apparently hasn't a clue what he's doing in Germany(let alone Europe). He doesn't speak neither English nor German nor any other language except for Japanese. -Girl number 2 shows rejection signs at the end of the movie. Which shows that: a- the doctor hasn't worked sterile (he scratches his forehead during the operation, an error a regular surgeon would never do) or b-he didn't gave immuno-suppressing medication, a real doctor would never oversee such a thing or c- they didn't matched (but as you can see prior to the operation, he had them tested). -About that test: as far as I know, it's not the kind of test you can run in your basement, and I really doubt that you can make a lab do that from anonymous people for someone without a practitioners license anyway. As he is 'retired' (most likely fired for his dog-experiment), it' s very highly likely that he hasn't got his license anymore (= no professional secrecy possible). -By far the most hilarious error is when he has his stethoscope in his ears.. He has it in the wrong direction!!! A stethoscope should be worn so that the ear-canal and the branches of the stethoscope are in the prolongation of each other. Like he is wearing it, it makes a small angle. This is something anyone with paramedical knowledge would see right away. (please feel free to search the internet for proper stethoscope wearing instructions if I didn't made myself clear on this point) -If I were a very sick-minded ex-surgeon, I would have connected their blood-circuit. Without it, survival is impossible from the start. First: you can't survive eating excrement from just one person, second: as the urinary tracts are not connected either, the second and third subject would die from dehydration even before they'd die from hunger and third: connecting the rectum with the mouth makes it possible for bacteria from the lower gastric tract (f.e. E.Coli) to infect the upper gastric tract of the second person resulting in diarrhea in the first place, probably followed by generalized infection and death later on. There's a reason why the intestinal tract is segregated. -And my last point is the following: the second girl dies -apparently- from generalized infection. If that's the case, the first girl would be evenly infected. You should also be aware that dying from generalized infection is quite a slow death involving very high fever and tissue necrosis, which she doesn't shows symptoms of. Except from the medical point of view there are other illogic things: the police's behavior towards the doctor, the neighbors hearing screams(but not another house in sight, and the police shows up very late compared to when the screams might have been heard). And how the hell did the doctor managed to plant the scalpel in the first policeman's neck while unable to do anything else but crawling? Furthermore, there is nothing innovating compared to other horror movies. (See colleagues' reviews) I think I made my point clear, but if realism doesn't bother you, you might like it. Although I really doubt it.

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• Great Premise, Crap Film

  monkeygland692010-05-05

  Wow, what a pointless and redundant film. It would seem word of mouth has spread into the anus of the internet and shat out this crap film. Despite the hype, the Human Centipede does nothing interesting with its premise or characters - its almost as if Six thinks the *concept* can do most of the leg work for him. And apparently those taken by the original concept require little else from a film - like working through the implications of its own premise or delivering an experience that can stand on its own feet. Take away the striking *image* of three people turned into a human centipede, and you are left with an indistinct film with few thrills. The mad scientist trope barely transcends hackneyed cliché, and the film completely squanders a great opportunity for subtext: what (for example) is the meaning of a male Asian as the head of the centipede and/or what does two American women following him mean? The plot is threadbare and takes the path of least resistance - the pointless film leads from point A to point B. Despite the 'logical' (linear) approach of the 'narrative', the characters motivations generally defy logic and rational explanation. Unlike great horror movies, this film literally has nothing to say about modern culture, gender roles, human fears or scientific hubris. Even worse, the cheap thrills are standard fare. The only thing that can be said in its favor is that some of the images (creep in the car, the centipede itself) are perversely funny. The film fails to suspend disbelief or encourages identification with its own protagonists either. Instead of (say) feeling sorry for the two female characters in the film, you pity the two female *actresses* playing bare breasted women on all fours and eating crap in the form of Six's 'script'. Dieter was typically creepy as the mad scientist, but he can do this stuff in his sleep. Anyone familiar with his work on Lexx knows how remarkable he can be - his Mantrid is amongst the great scifi villains. And the image of Mantrid's floating head on a jar remains much more incisive than anything on display here.

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