Massacre on Aisle 12 (2016) Reviews

• Like a bad 80s slapstick comedy

  eve_dolluk2017-01-28

  No idea why I ended up watching this, I saw it online and clicked play as it had a high rating. Basically a guy starts a new job at this shopping mall ( we never really see the Mall and at first I thought he was at a small convenience shop ) It's Xmas Eve they tell you this at the start and there is a seedy Santa and a big boobed trashy blonde elf to keep up the Xmas spirit. We have some flashback sequences of all the stores workers interviews, This sets up everyone's one dimensional stereotype, nice !!! From there they discover a dead body and bag of money and they all argue/fight over what to do and who is the killer. This a low budget film, possibly a homage to bad 80s films or just a bad film, who knows ??? It's pure corny slapstick with over exaggerated facial expressions and hammy dialogue. It is shot and lighted well etc, and kind of passes all the basic filmmaking rules. No soundtrack/music which was strange!!! At times I was expecting to hear some Tom and Jerry cartoon type sounds or music, but nope. I gave it a 4/10 being generous as it reminded me of 80s slapstick comedies and a few times I chuckled. If your a bit bored and nothing else to watch and you like slapstick then try it. If not then I'd avoid it. An average corny 4/10.

• A Good n' Funny Good Time

  patgordon-553962017-01-26

  So we watched this tonight and enjoyed it. First things-- we didn't see a movie rating on this anywhere but it is definitely an R rated film. If you have kids this probably isn't the movie you want to be taking them to see because it's not a cartoon and it's definitely full of adult stuff (drugs/nudity) and DEFINITELY adult language (I won't go into details but I feel like this movie could be on par with a Quentin Tarantino movie in terms of numbers of bombs dropped). This movie is not for the easily offended types, and not for those without a good sense of humor. Or the faint of heart because there are some scary parts. Now with all that said, we thought this was a really good movie. I for one laughed my behind off. We liked the jokes and we liked the story line, which follows the poor new kid at the store on his first day, which happens to be Christmas Eve. All the characters were different and funny and definitely do some screwed up stuff. But hey, there's karma for that. (Hint: A lot of them die!) Overall we thought this was a fun enjoyable movie with some good scare moments (though it is more of a comedy) and definitely some good laughs. As I mentioned it is not going to be for everyone but if you are just seeking a funny good time then you will enjoy.

• Hilarity Abounds on Aisle 12

  dcarsonhagy2017-01-29

  Well, guys, I guess I've finally crossed over into the void. Anyone who reads my reviews knows that I am very hard on movies such as these. They are usually misrepresented by their titles or the synopsis given is better than the actual movie. Such is NOT the case here. You kind of know, given its title, this probably isn't going to be a high productions value kinda movie. "Massacre" tells a story of a guy (Dave) who shows up at a local store on Christmas Eve to start a job. He first meets the drug- crazed girl who has absolutely no interest in having a job. She's just there for the drugs! After that he runs into the assistant manager, Jack, who is an absolute scream. One by one he meets his fellow employees and all seems to be bright until a dead body is discovered laying on top of a whole lot of money. That is when all the fun starts. Although this movie was certainly low on budget, it was not low on laughs. The constant feud between Jack and "Black Jack," another coworker is wonderful. Black Jack gives back just as much verbal abuse as he is given--and then some. In actuality, the acting by everyone was not that bad. One of the best lines ever delivered has to be by Jack when he is impaled. His screaming "did it leave a mark" had me in stitches. The actor who portrayed Dave has one of the best girly-man screams ever! "Massacre on Aisle 12" was just a whole lot of fun for me. It's all in there fellas: major boobage, drug use, violence, and simulated sex. And there is also a whole lot of fun! The movie was not rated but does contain the elements mentioned above. Enjoy!

• This is fun..

  aarminaj2017-01-25

  Wow, talk about some good ol popcorn time fun movie. This is hilarious, now I am not saying its a great movie, but its fun to watch. The casting is good, the actors who play their parts certainly did their jobs well without been over the top or camera conscious. The writing and the some of the dialogues make you laugh, its got a fair bit of blood and gore , oh ya did I forget to mention a nice under current tribute to a slasher from the past , Intruder (1989). Personally I enjoyed this one , I don't know if someone who is a fan of so called A grade Oscar movies will enjoy this but who cares, people like me who enjoy watching all kinds of horror, slashers, blood and gore movies do enjoy some cheesy fun from time to time. But if you still don't watch it your choice. But this review comes from a guy who is in no way associated with this movie, so hell ya I am not promoting this movie.I does slack a bit in between , but the start and the cheesy climax and ya the end credits are fun to watch.. I just enjoyed it, and when you watch it you will realize that the people who made this movie , tried something different to make you laugh.. Thumbs up to this one :)

• Hardly an outstanding or memorable movie...

  paul_haakonsen2017-05-09

  "Massacre on Aisle 12" certainly had every potential to be something great and truly unique, unfortunately the movie just never managed to reach that point at the hands of directors Jim Klock and William Mark McCullough. The story had everything lined up for potential, as it was about a corpse and a duffel bag full of cash being discovered on-site by workers at a local hardware store. And as tension rise and people start distrusting and accusing one another, who can you trust and who will make it through the night? It was the character gallery in the movie that really stuck out like a sore thumb, because they were just too generic, aside from the store manager. And as such, then it was difficult to relate to the characters and look beyond how one-dimensional, generic and mundane they really were. I will say, though, that they had some good enough talented actors and actresses on the cast list to portray the characters and roles in the movie. However, they were just struggling with having card-board characters to portray, essentially. The movie did also suffer from being rather predictable. And that was a shame, because the storyline was good, but it could have been so much better if it wasn't so predictable. For a horror comedy then "Massacre on Aisle 12" wasn't particularly outstanding or memorable. As such then it ended up as being a less than mediocre movie experience. My rating is 4 out of 10 stars.