Lemon (2017) Reviews

• The Worst Movie I Have Ever Paid to See

  meghancromie-251032017-04-06

  Absolutely terrible and charmless! Adopts all the artifice and editing style of a typical artsy movie without having literally any vision, any message, or any emotions. There was no plot, no relatable characters, no logic, no funny moments, nothing worth seeing at all. I have no idea what people find good about this movie I wanted scream at every scene "WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THAT". Drew out for so long. Every abrupt scene change and long shots felt unearned and trying to add meaning to scenes were it was not. Honestly reviews about how this movie addresses culture and race are reading so hard into this. You don't even know he's Jewish for most of the movie, it seemingly affects him in no way. Yes black characters were in the movie in prominent roles but it hardly leads to any message about race or privilege as there is literally no conflict in the entire movie except for a single comment made at passover dinner. The girl's Jamaican family seems to mostly accept him with little issue of questioning and he more or less fits it as a neutral presence. Just because it's playing in film festivals doesn't mean this film is good. Don't waste your time and money seeing it.

  More

• Great Cast - Horrible Movie

  workshop-226-7435612017-08-23

  Watching this movie is like listening to someone drag their nails across a chalkboard. I'm confident that worse movies have been made made but something about this film was so offensive to my senses that withing the first half hour it registered deep within my psyche as THE WORST movie I've seen. It was stilted & disjointed with lifeless performances (I assume by direction) of detestable character. Everything about this movie screamed out the pretentiousness of the film maker. It plays like Janicza Bravo decided to make an inspired film, put all the wheels in motion and then set out to find the inspiration. I've read positive reviews that tacitly accused me of failing to appreciate the dark, deadpan, absurdist humor. My response to those reviewers is to go see 'The Lobster'. 'The Lobster' was a dark, deadpan, absurdist comedy that was inspired and expertly executed. Lemon was, to use a colloquial pun, a lemon.

  More

• Tries very hard to be something it never will be

  jtv-499522017-09-05

  This is the only movie that I have ever taken the time to write a review for on IMDb, and my sole motivation is the hope that someone will see this and save themselves the 85 masochistic minutes that I just put myself through. This is one of those movies that you want to turn off from the moment you start but you just keep watching in the hopes that it will get better, and the next thing you know it's an hour in, the movie is still terrible, and screw it - you might as well finish it at this point because the prescription opiates haven't worn off yet. My girlfriend roped me into this debacle with a trailer that promised a mix between Juno and Wes Anderson, but what I got instead was A Serious Man after it had been eaten by a 400 pound trucker named Larry, poorly digested, and ultimately deposited into a toilet bowl at a rest stop. This movie is so bad that I actually felt it was below Michael Cera to take this role. Michael Cera is too good of an actor to be in this movie. Let that sink in. This "film" feels exactly like what it is - a poorly executed imitation of some of the great indie films of our time, written by a man and a woman who likely knew that no one in their right mind would make this thing so they had to make it themselves. It has all awkwardness and low-budget characteristics of Napoleon Dynamite but with none of the charm, and its attempts at humor are so forced that I'm not sure an entire bottle of Dulcolax could have moved things along. We as a society love a good bit of cringe in our films, since art often imitates life. If you like a good cringe every now and then, you might look forward to the scene in which the protagonist (whatever his forgettable character name was) attempts to kiss his (also forgettably named) male co-star. On the surface, this scene should have made my skin crawl, but instead my skin was crawling as I thought about the fact that someone actually invested time and money to put this lightly-polished piece of garbage into the annals of film history and expect people to revere it as art. If this is art then the scab I tore off my leg while watching YouTube earlier today is a Van Gogh. I could further analyze on a scene-by-scene basis, but frankly I am close to nausea already as I rehash just exactly how angry it made me to sit and watch attempt after attempt to be a quirky indie movie fall shorter than Tyrion Lannister. I would rather lobotomize myself with a chopstick than watch this movie again.

  More

• A criminally underrated gem

  ffiroz-937282017-08-30

  Do yourself a favor and don't watch this movie if you like to be spoon- fed humor or if you have the emotional intelligence of the main character. The acting is on point and the scene editing done in this movie is absolutely phenomenal. It's a story about love, envy, loneliness, everything and nothing. Mixed together with some hilarious comedic absurdity and a whole lot of dark humor, it's a real treat and Michael Cera's hair is the cherry on top.

  More

• Opening film of Rotterdam film festival 2017. Misplaced choice and lacked contents overall

  JvH482017-02-04

  This was the opening film of the Rotterdam film festival 2017 (iffr.com), and as such may give rise to expectations of something remarkable or otherwise special. Alas, I cannot think of many positive remarks about this film. Several people around me had a lot of laughs throughout the running time, but I had mostly trouble to produce even a tiny smile. Maybe I'm embarrassed seeing a definite loser on a definitely downhill path, where everything he does fails on him. And it would certainly have helped when Isaac had only been just a tiny bit of sympathetic. Now it is all just sad, nothing humorous about it. I know that many people delight (schadenfreude) in the suffering of others, but I'm not one of those. (Counter example: I love all the Ulrich Seidl movies, where you also find yourself embarrassed while watching, wondering whether you can stand it much longer. Nevertheless, I always endure to the end and even watch these movies more than once. Best example: his Paradise trilogy, especially Paradise: Love.) Anyway, apart from me the audience was not happy with this movie either, as it ranked a lowly 158th (out of 172) place for the audience award. There were some links between Isaac's life at home and the acting classes (like the "I I I" that offended his girlfriend in an early scene). Are these classes an artificial construct, introduced by the film makers, in order to make a point?? (If yes, I missed it.) Or is it just a means to humiliate others or to showcase his own shortcomings?? (Partly, see next paragraph.) The final Q&A clarified several things. For example: this movie resembles the lives of the film makers, feeling out of place (black, Jewish, etc), and it resembles their personalities too. There was a question about music and composer, but the answer escaped me. There was a very valid question about acting classes, coming down to: are they really that way?? The answer was that teachers are very abusive and impulsive as a rule. They can quit class and run out, or behave otherwise very crazy. There was a question about the family reunion, whether it was for real?? The answer was that a comedy can make sweet what is shown on screen. It is something not happening to you, so you can feel good in spite of it, like feeling less lonely. Lastly, the Q&A clarified the title of the film: Lemon stands for a lame person or thing, or something useless or crappy. As the film makers explained, that meaning of the word is obvious to all native English speakers. Finally, a positive remark, in spite of everything: in the closing scene where Isaac's car is taken away to a garage or more probably a scrap yard (Isaac: "it just died on me"), we see the final credits roll by. For that reason these credits seemed not overly long, unlike the feeling I have with other movies. I've the impression that credits become longer every day, exhaustively mentioning even the smallest contribution in full (catering, chauffeur, and so on). It can be that this all is necessary in the context of financing the project, but it borders on annoying and only forces you to grab a flashlight and leave the venue before the lights get on.

  More