Do or Die (1991) Reviews

• Andy Sidaris - misunderstood visionary

  danielemerson2016-01-25

  Andy just wanted to make movies about radio-controlled vehicles. But he had to pad them to feature length for cinema release, so he added some action sequences and a sort of plot. Due to financial restrictions, he could only afford part of the wardrobe budget for the cast, so he was forced to film everyone (everyone who who wasn't fat and ugly, that is) in only the bottom half of their clothes for a lot of the time. But if you want to see great footage of radio-controlled speedboats, aeroplanes, helicopters and motorbikes in action, you'll have to sit through scenes of things exploding and lots of topless women. Sorry, but that's the cold hard reality of the visionary auteur. Tough it out.

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• "You're not by any chance related to that bloke I blew up with a rocket launcher, are you?"

  BA_Harrison2012-08-30

  Despite having been blown to smithereens by Dona Speir in 'Guns' (the fifth movie in my Andy Sidaris 'Girls, Guns and G-Strings' box-set), ex-CHiPs star Erik Estrada miraculously returns in one piece for the next film Do or Die, albeit as a totally new character, good guy Richard 'Rico' Estevez; Estrada even gets to romp with Speir in a brief sex scene, no questions asked. I guess it's what I should expect from a movie franchise in which top-heavy female federal agents squeeze into tiny outfits to take on the never-ending stream of ruthless villains who turn up on their tiny Hawaiian island. This time around, it's none other than Mr. Miyagi himself, Pat Morita, who plays the baddie, a Japanese criminal by the name of Kane, who is so fed up with buxom babes Donna and Nicole (Speir and Roberta Vasquez) ruining his illegal operations that he forces them to play a deadly game of cat and mouse against six pairs of his best killers. Their lives in danger, the girls head for the mainland and are subsequently pursued across several states, thereby allowing Sidaris to set his cheesy action set-pieces against a variety of backdrops whilst also indulging his usual obsessions: humongous breasts, high powered weaponry, and remote control scale models (but, rather surprisingly, no men in drag). As always, there are several steamy soft-core sex scenes (a couple of which are surprisingly artful in their execution), some dumb comedy, and a few poorly staged fight and chase scenes (including one with really crap ninjas). Also adding to the fun is the introduction of two new female characters: Pandora Peaks as Atlanta Lee, owner of the film's biggest pair of tits, and Ava Cadell as Ava, owner of quite possibly the most awesome body of the whole series. Best of all, though, is the sight of Mr. Miyagi rolling around in bed with his surgically enhanced Japanese babe Silk (Carolyn Liu), the old man clearly using moves that he never dared divulge to young Daniel Larusso. I rate Do or Die 6.5 out of 10, rounded up to 7, making it my new favourite of the series so far.

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• this is what made me a Sidaris fan

  hillbillyfromhell2007-11-18

  I confess to getting this on DVD due to my favorite model Pandora Peaks having been cast in a small role. It wasn't til I started watching it that I saw both Erik Estrada and Pat Morita in it and was surprised to see them both. This is a true roller-coaster of a ride, really all over the place, from the desert to Hawaii to the woods of Louisianna, it really covers a lot of geography from a small production for the video market. Casting buffed guys and sexy gals as secret agents, more or less acting without any support against villains right out of The A-Team or some other 80's show, this had tons of female flesh, explosions, and even helicopters chasing cars. Also, the funniest part is that every agent had time to make love to their counterpart and there were a lot of clothing changes for the women. Likewise, Pat Morita as the villain was hilarious, and his assassins some of the lamest assassins ever filmed. But it works for me.

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• A Keeper

  UACW2002-05-10

  (Spoilers Ahead.) This movie is so bad it is good. This movie is one of the worst movies of all time, on a par with Plan 9, but Ed Wood didn't have the money these clowns have. And frankly, Ed's story is almost better. This one is so ridiculous... Ok, how about this for starters? For no reason you can figure out, you're on Hawaii and you're at an outdoor party for a children's charity. Someone out of nowhere approaches two girls sitting at this party to tell them there is someone waiting for them outside. It is Pat Morita. He has his back to them. He tells them he knows they are high-level operatives for the US govt and that they are responsible for ruining his business, and now he intends to kill them, but he's going to make a game out of it, and the game will start tomorrow. With no further ado the two girls run off, pack their bags, get into some kind of trendy vehicle, and make it for the airport. They're not running from Pat Morita; they have never said if they know who he is; they're playing his game without question. The romp continues, through, among other places, a sandy airfield where so-called 'QSA' model airplanes are flown for an audience. Note that this demonstration has absolutely nothing to do with the story or the characters in it - it's just there, and then suddenly it's gone. Every so often you cut to a new scene with a couple of po' white trash out of nowhere who are sitting around wherever they may be doing whatever they might be doing, and somewhere they have a small black plastic box with a short antenna and two coloured lights on top, one red and one green. And then the green one will start blinking and one of the characters will say 'they're almost here!' and that's it. How are these two girls being tracked? Does anyone know? Does anyone care? The girls fly from Hawaii to the continental US, through Las Vegas, and then for no good reason end up the final 45 minutes of the movie around Shreveport Louisiana. It's brilliant. It's so bad it's good. This movie should be used in university film classes as a cookbook of how not to make a movie. And it is probably being used for those purposes already. Every scene where Estrada blows somebody up has to end with fifteen seconds on his white toothy grin - it's too much. And there is a classic scene where Estrada kills a bad guy with baseballs. But perhaps one of the worst is when Estrada is having sex with the odd girl out in a swimming pool somewhere. Suddenly she starts ripping her hair back and fro, and of course there is a strong back light on her, and this creates a spectacular visual effect, but what does this have to do with the story or the characters? It's so bad you will laugh. And then after that, Estrada grabs the girl up in his arms, and the girl twists so her feet are away from the camera so she can make more fabulous visual effects by kicking her feet into the surface of the water. You get the picture. Get the movie. I won't tell you how the good guys finally discover how the bad guys have been tracking them across the planet for the past hour and a half, but it has something to do with a 'laser microchip.' And not once in those ninety minutes did anyone wonder how they were being tracked. This movie has the worst screenplay ever written. It is one of the worst, perhaps the worst, movie ever made. There are those who say this is 'soft porn' or basically 'T&A', but don't believe them. There's as much real sex in this movie as there is in Donald Duck. Rent the movie, see it, because you know you are going to be in for a treat - a movie so bad it is good.

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• silly, fun movie

  babeulous2001-04-07

  These Sidaris pictures are silly. If you expected anything more serious than James Bond, you'll be disappointed. But if 007 pictures don't have enough sex for you, try one of Sidaris' shows. Cynthia Brimhall looks bored and distracted in this one. (She was perkier in _Hard Ticket to Hawai'i_.) "Stephanie Schick" has a hot sex scene in a waterfall. Dona Speir and Erik Estrada do it in a steaming, night-lit swimming pool. Nice boat/plane chases, plenty of explosions. Carolyn Liu is sizzling hot as the bad guy's computer-savvy moll, and there's more to her character than you'd expect. Six stars for the underappreciated Andy Sidaris and ten for the hypnotic Ms. Liu.

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