Date Movie (2006) Reviews

• Just when you thought Hollywood has reached an all time low, you get "Date Movie."

  MovieManMenzel2006-03-02

  "Date Movie" is a movie that spoofs romantic comedies. The movie follows Julia Jones (Alyson Hannigan) as she goes through all the events that take place in order to marry her prince Grant (Adam Campbell). This process involves meeting the parents, breaking up, meeting the ex-girlfriend, planning the wedding and everything else that the romantic comedy genre has thrown our way. Laughs are supposed to ensue… Just when you thought Hollywood has reached an all time low comes "Date Movie," a movie that proves that anything can be made into a film in Hollywood and no matter how bad something is people will dish out their hard earned money to see it. "Date Movie" is by far the worst pile of crap I have seen in several years and can possibly go down in the history of film as being one of the worst movies ever made. This movie contained zero laughs, none of the spoofs were even remotely funny. It was an insult to anyone who dished out any kind of money to see this film. The saddest part about all of this is that I knew before seeing this movie that it was going to be bad but I didn't think it could ever be as bad as it actually was. All the jokes fell flat and half way through its groundbreaking 75 minute running time I wanted to find a way to end my life so I wouldn't have to sit through another second of this horrid movie. There really isn't a positive thing I can say about this movie. The first question that comes to mind though is who the hell came up with the idea. Why spoof comedies? Comedies are already funny so why spoof them? This is a question I wondered when I first heard about the movie and now after seeing "Date Movie" I know it can't be done and shouldn't even be attempted. While "Date Movie" only runs 75 minutes they try to spoof everything they can including Bridget Jones's Diary, Kill Bill, Say Anything, My Best Friend's Wedding, Napoleon Dynamite, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Hitch, The Bachelor, Meet the Parents, Sleepless in Seattle, Rize, King Kong, Wedding Planner and so many more. You would think that one joke would work but in all honesty not a single one did. You just sit there staring at the screen, losing your brain cells, and wondering how on earth someone got money to produce this pile of garbage. I guess you should know that a movie is really bad when it's not screened for critics and the trailer tries to sell you a movie by saying "from 2 of the 6 writers of Scary Movie" but there is always that small part of me that says it can't be as bad as it looks but in this case it's worse than it looks. It's a train wreck and if anyone finds this movie funny I am sorry but there must be something seriously wrong with you or you are just so incredibly immature. This movie took 2 people to write and two people to direct. If I ever meet Jason Friedberg or Aaron Seltzer the writers and directors behind this crap I will demand that they give me my $6.75 back for paying to see this movie. These guys have no right what so ever to make a movie when they put out a movie like "Date Movie." There should be a law in Hollywood that if your movie is hated by both critics and audiences alike that you should be placed in a cell and beaten until you write everyone who watched your film a huge letter of apology. I really wonder what crap can come out of Hollywood next that can be worse than this film. So to sum it up, "Date Movie" sucks, plain and simple. Even if you see it with little or no expectations you will be disappointed. I despise everyone who was involved with this movie from the entire cast who somehow read this script and said this is going to be good to the interns who didn't walk off the set after the first day of shooting. Why is it that we have to suffer through movies that are this bad? And Hollywood wonders why ticket sales are going down because when you pay $6-$10 to see a movie like "Date Movie" I can totally understand why people aren't going and would be leery of what Hollywood puts out. This is the worst film to come out of Hollywood in years even worse than "Gigli," "Batman and Robin" and "You Got Served." MovieManMenzel's final rating for "Date Movie" is a 0 out of ten. This movie doesn't even deserve a 1 because nothing worked at all and people shouldn't have to be tortured like this when they see a movie.

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• I'm writing this to save you

  bdubstater42006-02-20

  Its true. Everything you've read is true. This really, really, really is the worst parody ever. This movie was so bad that I spent the entire ride home from the theater, frustrated that I couldn't come up with the vocabulary to describe how I felt about it. IT IS NOT FUNNY. I, like most other people who have seen it, chuckled a few times. The rare laughs were part genuine enjoyment and part trying to make the best of a horrible situation. On the whole, though, 98% of this movie is just mind-numbingly bad. And not just because it has a lot of toilet humor and fat person jokes. The worst parts of the movie are the ones that are not only devoid of humor, but they just flat out are so stupid they don't make sense. I've never had an experience where I've sat through an hour and a half film and felt like I was watching a bunch of two minute clips of stupidity that had almost nothing to do with each other. It was almost surreal how horrible this movie was. Please, do not go see it. You're welcome.

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• I would pay someone to kick me in the balls for paying to see this movie.

  KingofMcDonalds2006-02-19

  This movie is one of the most horrible experiences of my life. With once having sat through twelve hours of constipation, I have yet to sit through a dump that was more excruciatingly painful than watching this two hour film. The worst part is it isn't even two hours, it's eighty minutes, but it makes you feel like you must have aged four or five years through this. I feel they must have added in Sophie Monk and Carmen Electra not because of their amazing acting talent, but because they felt the humor was so poor they needed to wake people up from this painfully dumb movie. The audience's reaction to the film provided more laughs than the actual movie itself. I can't decide whether I find it comical or depressing that this film managed to parody movie scenes and make them worse. Truly, the people saying these writers aren't talented are wrong, it takes an art to be able to make something this bad. The movie is a complete non sequiter too. In one scene, after the family has toasted at the rehearsal wedding dinner table, Lil' Jon comes in and says, "What? Yeah. Okay." and that's the punch line. Seriously, Hotel Rwanda was funnier than this movie. The film also contains tons of gross out humor, with a man coughing up a hairball, a woman with a hairy back, and a cat humping a corpse. Real clever guys. This is the kind of stuff that makes angels cry, and kills orphan babies. I would've walked out of this monstrosity had it not been for me hoping that maybe, just maybe, it might be slightly enjoyable than the previous torturous minutes. I mean you know something is wrong when the funniest part of a movie is a cat crapping into a toilet. This film is only really a mess of parodies thrown together that don't make any sense. I really have to say it's as witty as it gets when Frodo delivers a swift kick to the nads of Gandolf, and he screams, "My precious!" Finally, the ending seemed to have been thrown in to make an attempt to give the male audience a boner so maybe the wouldn't come out of the theater asking for a gun. No, the worst travesty is not that I spent $6.75 on this movie, but that I will never be the same person I was before. This is the stuff nightmares are made of. Don't go see this under any circumstances. If your significant other wants to see this, fake your death. Anyway you can get out of this movie is truly a blessing. P.S. My cellphone started ringing during the movie. Why, oh why didn't I pick it up? Seriously, man eating on the phone would have been more entertaining than this movie.

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• Not even Alyson Hannigan can pardon this turkey

  RogerBorg2006-02-25

  I'd imagine that the main reason that people are paying to watch this is because it stars Alyson Hannigan. Well, she's in it, and she makes the most of a thoroughly unchallenging role, but unless you're a total completist, that shouldn't be enough of a reason to waste even 80 minutes of your life on this appalling waste of talent. What the writer/directors seem to have missed is that if you're going to parody or satirise a scene from a decent movie, you actually have to add something. It's not sufficient to just throw a bunch of stolen scenes together in the hope that the conjunction will generate humour by itself. I honestly could not see one - not ONE - original thought or idea or line in the script or direction. That in itself is something of an achievement. The whole thing plays like it was scripted by teenagers, and not teenagers from the top end of the grade curve. In fact, I have to wonder if this films is deliberately aimed at the lowest common denominator. If so, it missed by several yards to the south.

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• Alyson Hannigan Deserved Better

  thehonorablestanlaurel2006-02-22

  Are you short for cash, Alyson? Is that why your beautifal face had to be seen on screen in this joke of a parody movie? I went to this movie with high expectations. I mean very high. I am a sucker for the parody genre. Ever since The Naked Gun films and Airplane!, Wrongfully Accused, Spy Hard, Scary Movie.. I've been a nut for these types of movies. So why was this one so bad? I can't really explain.. I saw all the movies they parodied, and still.. it just wasn't funny. I am absolutely in love with Alyson Hannigan. She's a very beautifal and very talented actress. Eddie Griffin is one of the funniest comedians to grace the silver screen in years. And please, Lil' Jon is in the movie! What's not to like? Well, the fact that basically, a lot of the parodies were just word for word retellings of some of the movies. The dinner scene was an ENTIRE ripoff of the Meet the Parents scene to a t. This movie tries too hard to be funny, and at sometimes its okay (the Pimp My Ride scene comes to mind), but honestly.. it just tries too hard and doesn't go anywhere. I can't say I was disappointed, it was beyond that. If there's a sequel to this atrocious comedy I'll eat my hat.

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