Conan the Destroyer (1984) Reviews

• Be Afraid... Be Very Afraid...

  Shield-32000-08-18

  Oh, I can understand why "Conan the Destroyer" is the way it is. The original, classic "Conan the Barbarian" was a hit, but the Hollywood bigwigs decided they could get x-amount more money if they made a more family-friendly sequel, thereby opening the franchise to the lucrative kid's market (never mind that, for as long as there have been "restrictive" movie ratings, kids have known how to get to see the movies they want). Take out the sex, tone down the violence, crank up the humor, and... out comes this movie. It's like "Destroyer" is stuck in a state of half-development. The basic storyline would be okay, but the script gives Conan a coterie of unneccessary sidekicks (as if Conan were not a strong enough character to carry a movie by himself). Grace Jones is interesting to look at but gets tiresome VERY fast; the cowardly sidekick gets more irritating by the second; Mako wears this expression like he's only in this one for the money. Olivia d'Abo is just plain miscast: it's like she's a marker that should read "Insert More Interesting Character in Second Draft." Arnold Schwarzenegger does a competent job as Conan, but we don't see the raw power and brute force of the first movie. There is a thin line between competence and complacency, between an actor and a star; it took Roger Moore six years to get to that point in the James Bond series, while Schwarzenegger reaches the same point with Conan in two. I think part of the problem is whether or not the Conan concept is flexible enough to become family fare, and my answer is "no." Fans of Robert E. Howard's Conan work know his Cimmerian is a very rough-edged hero, a cunning, hard-drinking, hard-fighting man, and the first Conan movie captured that essence. To change him into the simple-minded do-gooder of "Conan the Destroyer" is to destroy what Conan is all about, and the movie suffers for it. Is "Conan the Destroyer" worth watching? Yes. For someone who knows absolutely nothing about Conan, I suppose it can be a harmless sword-and-sorcery popcorn flick. For Conan fans, it's kind of like "Legend of the Lone Ranger" for Lone Ranger fans: an irresistible example of just how badly Hollywood can treat your favorite character. I just hope that if there is ever another Conan movie (not likely, thanks to "Destroyer"), the producers will concentrate on following the style of "Conan the Barbarian" and just ignore this one.

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• Conan Sequel: Lots of Muscles, but Lacks 'Muscle'!

  cariart2003-09-08

  After the worldwide success of CONAN THE BARBARIAN, it was inevitable that a sequel would be made (director John Milius envisioned the saga as a trilogy, with an aged Conan ruling his own kingdom in the final chapter). But Universal, seeing star Arnold Schwarzenegger as appealing more to younger audiences, did not like the R-rated combination of gore, sex, and machismo philosophy of the first film, so Milius was unceremoniously dumped, and more family-friendly action director Richard Fleischer was brought in to helm CONAN THE DESTROYER. Working with a script by comic book scribes Roy Thomas and Gerry Conway, much of what made the first film so unique was tossed aside. While Milius had Arnold lose weight and study Oriental swordsmanship, in an effort to tone down the bodybuilder look, and make him more flexible and believable as an arena-trained warrior, Fleischer ordered the actor to bulk up as much as possible, hoping to recreate the impossibly-muscled giant painted by Frank Frazetta on the covers of the paperback CONAN novels. Instead of being a taciturn loner, Conan would joke and 'care' about people, with an idiot sidekick (Tracey Walter) to provide comic relief. Bloodletting would be mainly off-camera, sex would consist solely of flashes of cleavage, and any monsters faced would be toned-down so children wouldn't be traumatized. While all this succeeded in garnering a PG rating, the end result was less Robert Howard's barbarian, more the generic B-movie hero seen in the dozens of imitations CONAN THE BARBARIAN had inspired. The plot is simple; Cruel but beautiful Queen Taramis (SUPERMAN I and II villainess Sarah Douglas) promises to revive Conan's dead love, Valeria, if he'll lead virgin Princess Jehnna (Olivia d'Abo) and her bodyguard (basketball legend Wilt Chamberlain), on a quest to steal a giant diamond, and use it to recover a horn that will bring god Dagoth to life. Joined by his sidekick, Malak, a wizard (Mako), and a female warrior (Grace Jones), the group faces the usual array of monsters, wizards, and enemy soldiers, and defeats them all, succeeding in the quest...but Conan discovers, nearly too late, that the bodyguard has been ordered to murder him, after the horn is retrieved, and that Jehnna is to be sacrificed as part of the process of reviving Dagoth... While the fight between Conan and Toth-Amon (Pat Roach), in a hall of mirrors, is well-staged and exciting, much of the rest of the film seems flat, with one scene, of Conan blind drunk at a campfire, ridiculously out of character and silly. CONAN THE DESTROYER didn't achieve anywhere near the success of the original, but Schwarzenegger had no reason to worry; his next film would be a low-budget SF thriller called THE TERMINATOR, and he was about to become a superstar! A footnote to CONAN...in early 2003, Schwarzenegger and John Milius tentatively agreed to bring CONAN THE KING, the final chapter of the saga, to the screen...With the original director's vision, and the improvements in FX that CGI has provided, we may yet see the ULTIMATE Conan film reach the screen, if Arnold's political career doesn't take precedence!

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• Entertaining but not as good as Conan The Barbarian

  AMar_rom2012-06-11

  I have been captivated by Conan's heroic fantasy world for many years. For this reason alone I am rating this film as 6/10. Do not expect a continuation of the first Conan film. 'Conan The Destroyer' is too light in its scope and Conan is not the same man anymore. The villains are also not as menacing. Having said that it was good to see Grace Jones and Sarah Douglas and also Conan's companions had good lines and were very funny at times. As a side note I found the adjective 'Destroyer' in the title quite misleading and unfortunate. For those of us that read the Conan novels we see Conan driven by his own motivations, and fighting his battles only if he had to and not for the sake of destroying. The film distributors could have picked something else to promote the movie.

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• campy and humorous, but still enthralling entertainment

  brucejr2001-01-31

  While the original 'Conan the Barbarian' was more dramatic, the sequel is played more for laughs. Nonetheless, it is still a highly entertaining sword and sorcery fantasy flick. The music is again outstanding and carries the movie where the dialogue fails. Of particular note is Wilt Chamberlain's impressive performance as the immense Bombatta. He has a tremendous screen presence, more than just his stature (plus he had to do his own stunts!). There are lots of memorable scenes throughout the movie. Not a cerebral film, just good old-fashioned fantasy!

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• Stupid But Fun

  ogremage122007-08-08

  If you're looking for a deep, interesting and layered fantasy flick which makes sense and has an original story, go rent out the first Conan movie. Conan the Destroyer is pure Hollywood cheese, made because the Conan the Barbarian was such a hit. The studio execs made the story more light-hearted, with sidekicks and magic and the kind of story a thirteen-year-old could watch without getting in trouble. Oddly enough, it works. While it's light years away from Robert E Howard's original Conan stories, Conan the Destroyer is still great fun, even twenty years after it was made. Arnold Schwarzenegger makes the most of the very silly lines he's given, Tracey Walter proves a capable if somewhat pointless comic foil, and the irony of casting Wilt Chamberlain as a protector of a young princess' virginity is hilarious. Mako hams it up, Grace Jones takes it all too seriously and Olivia D'Abo makes for a good childlike princess because she was 16 when the film got made. The music's over-dramatic, the lines are laughable ("Some wizard you are! Go back to juggling apples!") and the story's cliché, but for Saturday night viewing, nothing beats Conan the Destroyer. Possibly Interesting Trivia: This movie was produced by Raffaela De Laurentis, daughter of the famous Dino De Laurentis. She also produced the confusing big-budget epic "Dune". Both Dune and this movie flopped at the box office, and both were filmed in Mexico.

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