ClownTown (2016) Reviews

• Clowns deserve better

  filipsalapa2016-07-07

  This movie is utter trash. Pure and simple. I could go on about the atrocious acting, mediocre gore, run-of-the-mill baddies and so on and so forth but instead I'm gonna tell you this - stay away from this trash. I do love myself a good clown horror - clowns have this mix of "always smiling, yet at the same time emotionless" type of thing. These clown all lack that. Some people will go for this flick because of the nudity which again - it is there, but in this movie you end up feeling like "tits? oh whatever". Unless you are a teenage boy you are going to roll your eyes and fast forward to the next scene. To avoid acting that is. Do yourself a favor and look elsewhere. Jon Watt's "Clown" is one option.

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• Every cliché in the book.

  OrangieTooDope2017-08-29

  Before watching it, I knew nothing about this movie. Just that people who liked movies I watched had liked it. I guess I was expecting it to be a Troma-type low budget gore fest but it was more, and somehow less at the same time. It had the look and feel of a big budget movie but the script and acting of a movie made by children. While they managed to get the hot girl naked and murdered before the opening credits, it wasn't so good after that. At one point a girl loses her phone. After driving for a long time they decide to call her phone and the guy who answers tells them to keep driving and make the next left and he will meet them there. And they do it! One thing that distinguished this from a Troma flick was the distinct lack of gore. We see the hot girl get killed by a machete that doesn't even cut through her shirt and then later we see one bloodless stabbing. Overall I'd have to say this movie is very average for the genre. Definitely worth watching once.

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• The Town That Dreaded Grease Paint

  songod-950032016-07-14

  Seems this film has divided IMDb forum folks into the "Worst Ever" and "I Liked It" groups. I can only say that within a bit of both is where the film falls. On the pro side, the film was well shot, not the typical for low budget hand held or camcorder affair. Lighting was also well done, never too dark, never too anything but mood appropriate. Also the music was well designed and used appropriately. Some nods to classic slashers were not unnoticed and were a welcome tip of the hat. Most prominently was a tip to "Halloween" with a key family named after the principal character (no not Myers). And if you are really into horror from all decades one of the killer clowns resembled Conrad Veidt from the silent thriller "The Man Who Laughs" (a man who is disfigured via torture to always have a wide grin - said to have been the inspiration for The Joker in the Batman comics). On the con side, well... acting was not anyone's strong suit. The clowns who had no dialog, sans the lone female laugh maker, fared best as ,w ell, they had no dialog! Everyone else was one dimensional, wooden, fiberglass... anything but natural. The script was abysmal as it had the characters doing some truly idiotic things; none of which ended well at all. First and foremost among the nonsense was the plot device used to lure the group heading to a concert to the almost abandoned town where "clowns ruled". How the clowns came to be rulers of the sorry place is never quite explained enough. Something to do with a train wreck and a couple creepy pre-teens (in the opening flashback; again a nod to "Halloween"). This lack of origin made for a nagging issue during the entire run. Hey, even Myers and Jason had background stories! I gave this a two based on the pros which are not really enough to recommend. Wait for Rob Zombie's "31".

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• I like ponies

  nogodnomasters2017-09-27

  After the opening teaser, we get 30 minutes of set up. Our four main characters are headed for a concert in Columbus, Ohio. They are lured into a strange town due to Jill's (Katie Keene) lost cell phone. While there they get stranded and fight killer clowns for nearly an hour as they tie this into the opening teaser, classic formula writing. Unless you have a thing about people with clown make-up (budget doesn't allow costumes) then you can skip this slasher. The characters were boring as was the over-all plot that never adequately explained how a town can exist with a bunch of clown killers. Kaitlyn Sapp plays Jamie the babysitter who finds a necklace with the word "Kaitlyn" from the previous sitter. Seems they just went with her own necklace. Guide: F-word, Brief nudity (Kaitlyn Sapp)

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• The tears of a clown.......

  FlashCallahan2016-07-30

  Whilst on their way to a concert, four friends get sidetracked and stranded in a seemingly abandoned town. Whilst looking for help, they find themselves stalked and terrorised by a gang of violent clown dressed psychopaths, who will stop at nothing ensnaring them into their sinister blood thirsty games...... Clowns can be scary can't they? Arguably the scariest of all clowns is Pennywise, as he is literally the stuff made of nightmares. Then the Killer Klowns, whilst not the scariest clowns to grace small screen, have gained notoriety because the film is just so much fun. But then Sam Rockwell could argue that the awful Clownhouse is the scariest thing for him.......knowing its on his C.V. This has all the right ingredients for a decent horror come stalk and slash, but the end result is just a boring film that tries to hard to be an amalgamation of the later Friday films and a Rob Zombie film. So once the main narrative of the film commences (second act, always when one of the protagonists sees something overly bizarre), it's just so formulaic, and so lethargic, you are willing the clowns to walk just that little fast, kill the stupid kids and let the film just finish. So we are 'treated' to a wealth of horror film tropes, killers walking slowly and always getting who they want, protagonists making silly decisions that have been made since the late seventies, and the old man, who comes out of nowhere, who has never been harmed and should have minded his own business. It's pretty poor stuff,many horror fan would have seen this film dozens of times before, and not have let themselves get drawn in by the predictable decent DVD cover art. But fair dues, every once in a while, there is a little gem amongst the dirge and the filth, and sadly this isn't one of them. Borrowing from too many better horror films is always a mistake, because you remember just how good those were, whilst suffering this rubbish. Don't bother.

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